more monster interviews

i: have you ever decided to get someone back?
u: like in revenge?
i: no, not revenge.  to go get them, to try to make them come back to you.
(long pause.)
u: i never thought about trying to get someone back.

i: have you ever tried to make someone come back to you?
u: oh, hell, no.

i: have you ever tried to go back, to find someone you lost?
u: i always try to find people i lose, life is too short not to try.
i: you don't think, you know, when it's over, it's over?
u: it's never over, nothing is ever over, if we remember anything, it's not over.
i: what happened?
u: when?
i: when you went looking.
u: oh.  well, i don't know yet.  i'm looking right now, i'll have to let you know how it turns out.

i: have you ever tried to bring back someone you lost?
u: of course.
i: what if it was certain that they were lost forever, would you still try?
u: i can't imagine a situation where it's certain that it's forever.
i: you can't?
u: not as long as you're both still alive.
i: aha, but if one of you dies...
u: aha, that's another story.
i: then it's really over.
u: no, it's not, it's not over, it's just another story.  it's one of my favorite stories.
i: so you believe in hopeless, helpless, eternal love.
u: you forgot ridiculous.  and yes, i do.  but you need to include ridiculous, because it's all ridiculous.
i: did it ever work?  did you ever find someone you lost?
u: constantly.  we always meet again and again.
i: what happens when you meet again?
u: sometimes it's more ridiculous than other times.  sometimes you meet again and you both think there might be a spark still there, and you find out there's not.  other times you find out that there is a spark, but it doesn't last very long, that time around, it's very short and kind of sweet and then it's kind of sad.  but the worst is when the spark is there, but you're both with someone new, or something permanent, and that's bad because there's nothing you can do.
i: that sounds hard.
u: it is, but it's my favorite.
i: why is that your favorite?
u: because you're the most helpless, you're utterly upside down, you're hanging upside down, and that's when you're the most vulnerable, and that's when you find out that love isn't about being together, it's about something else.
i: what?
u: what?
i: what something else?
u: i have no idea, really, no one knows, really, but it's why we're here.
i: hm.
u: we really have no idea why we're here, the things we think we know, we don't really know.  the reasons we think we're doing things, chasing after this or that or falling in or out of love, it's really not the reason.  we don't really know the reason, it's always much bigger than we suspect, and we're closest to that thing when we're stuck, hanging upside down, full of longing and love for someone we can't have, when we're doing what we were born to do.
i: and we'll never know why?
u: why do we need to know why?  i don't even think it would matter if we did know why, we're designed to fall in love again and again and get hurt and do it again, and it doesn't matter why.


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