Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Next Thing/s (2)

(Now it's getting decidedly stranger, a rainy night after the moon went and changed everything around, this retrograde Mercury is decidedly flirty, and carries lots of old ghosts on her shoulders, and she's dual nature, too, which means that everything that is Mercurial is more slippery than ever, but that could just be from all the rain. This segment was captured while doing yoga during a storm, but not like romantic and looking through foggy windows, but really fucking wet, out in the rain, to see if the balance could hold even here in all this.)

I: Thanks for being so candid.
CD: So far.
(This catches her off guard and she laughs uncontrollably, even though we all know this just wasn't that funny.)
I: But we wanted to ask about the next thing, more on that, but specifically, the next project. Can you talk about that?
CD: Interesting, mm, yes, mm. The new incarnation of whatever this performance thing will turn out to be, Revoltosa #8.5, or whatever whatever, is still unformed enough to keep most of that under wraps, but the projects, those I think are pretty clear.
I: Good, this is what's important for right now.
CD: What do you mean?
I: Well...in a sense, it doesn't matter what the vehicle is called, or what it looks like, but what it's doing.
CD: That's true, but if it has only two wheels instead of the usual four, that's going to be important, because we either need an air freshener, or there's no rear view mirror, and we don't.
I: Why an air freshener?
CD: Every car has one.
(She wants to get the joke, but again, it's not that funny.)
I: The road is more important than the thing you travel on.
CD: Huh, that sounds true. I guess that's really the most important thing, these days, where the good and the bad are kind of jumbled up in each other, best friends are worst enemies, and the ones that got written off suddenly start to show their flare, and right and wrong are under suspicion for impersonating each other. But some things just feel true. You know what I mean? It just feels true, and if it does, that's enough for me, and I trust it.
I: Totally trust it?
CD: Well, as much as possible, I mean, enough to play the role as its given. So, we're looking at Cassandra.
I: Another Greek thing.
CD: I know! Weird, huh? They keep speaking to me, because the stories are so dense, and because it's easy to remember them, because of the history of oral tradition, which is very important to me, of course, and because wikipedia is so succinct in milking the life out of things so that they're easy to consume, all these things play a part.
I: What about Cassandra, specifically?
CD: It has to do with the whole thing about knowing the future and no one believing you, that whole curse. I mean, I've studied it for years, but wikipedia reminded me that Apollo plays a big part, like he gave her the gift of prophecy, but she was supposed to sleep with him. But instead, she spits in his mouth, and then he makes it so that no one believes her. I mean, what an asshole. He's a god, and the big rational one, too, so he could like, well, it can't be hard for him to find somebody else, I mean, and just move on. But instead he curses her. That's interesting to me. But even more, the idea of divination, the Lucumi tradition invokes a lot of divination, and the sacred text there is oral, too, so it has concentric circles, that I also like. But there's this question I have, about how, if you know something is going to happen, and you try to stop it, but the people it's going to hurt the most don't believe you, then what's it for? What's this information for? Because there's a sense that at least some things are predetermined, and if those things are known through divination, then the divination is also predetermined, and maybe the part about no one believing you is also pre-determined.
I: Interesting and it sounds like there should be lots of grants for this, or people who hear about it should decide to donate lots of money to the project.
CD: Ni modo.
I: And it's also telling that this one isn't another project about doomed love or desire or bla bla bla.
CD: Right. We're staying away from that altogether. Except for the thing about Cassandra and Apollo, which is really central to it, and uh, there's stuff with Agememnon who falls in love with her, and uh, well, it's pretty sticky, and I guess it has everything to do with doomed love and desire, too.
I: Well, that does make sense, in a sense.
(Now he laughs uncontrollably, even though it wasn't all that funny, but there's electricity here that we can't possibly see.)
I: Because all stories are songs, and all songs are the same song, and it's always a love song. Tragedies are more interesting, because love stories that turn out well are just--
CD:--Pornography.
I:--Pornography, exactly, jinx, buy me a coke.

(They share a nice laugh but then it gets uncomfortably quiet, and the rain starts to pick up, and it's the beginning of a very wet winter.)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Next Thing

(This is an excerpt of the first part of an interview with the founder of TIMB, about the new direction of TIMB. In this, he is remarkably candid, but always a gentleman, using a discretion and charm that is unusual for someone of his generation, suggesting one of the reasons, perhaps, why he is always involved in new adventures, even though he is old enough to be your father. This particular interview was conducted right after he finished a long ride to Vancouver and back for a double espresso. On the way, he was abducted by a woman who claimed to have Gypsy blood--she did, actually--and introduced him to a talking cow who told his future. It was not a particularly comfortable future, but the hoofmarks indicated that there would be hints of cardemon and sandalwood on the road, along with a jasmine undertone, and that seemed evidence enough that continuing on the road would be a good idea.)

INTERVIEWING SPEAKING SUBJECT: Ok, first, we want to ask about the new direction of TIMB.
CD: That's a good place to start. It's direction is very clear, and in a state of non-direction.
ISS: Meaning?
CD: It's done. We've pretty much wrapped it up, and by the end of the year, it won't be.
ISS: That seems a little drastic, all things considered.
CD: Why?
ISS: Well, as far as these things go, I mean, an experimental performance operation in Phoenix, it's been rather successful, hasn't it?
CD: Oh, well, that's nice of you to say, but really, in the end, not so much. These last couple of years have seen a pretty substantial decrease in funding, grant-wise, and that's been enough to suggest that the city simply can't support it. We're shutting the doors and moving on, and right now we're all looking at what the next project will be.
ISS: So it's not really over.
CD: Art isn't over, no, not what we do, the close circle of collaborators, no, we're going to be doing other things, but under different auspices. Look, this is something that didn't come easy, I mean, it wasn't a simple decision, but it's obviously the end of the cycle of whatever it was, and this is the start of a new cycle, so we're all more excited about the next thing, which is still undefined.
ISS: Can you give us an idea of what it might be?
CD: Well, we've been playing with names, and it has to be something that reflects the trans-disciplinary nature of what we're doing, not so much theater, but still, closer to theater than most other art forms we use. But it's been moving toward a more mediated form, with more recorded media, for a long time. So we want to call it something extremely hip, and perhaps even impenetrable, so that no one will really understand what we're doing, not even us.
ISS: What names are you considering?
CD: The favorites so far are "The xx," and Erikah Badu, but there may be copyright issues. We're also thinking about "El 28," because of that song.
ISS: By Oreja de Van Gogh.
CD: Exactly.
ISS: That's such a sad song, do you know the lyrics off the top of your head?
CD: Of course. They're like this: nerviosa miro el reloj ,
la lluvia conmigo empieza
un día de pleno sol,
a lo lejos aparece el
recuerdo de un amor,
no me ve, camina
ausente, hace mucho que pasó.
Empecé a recordar.
Y paseé
por mi mente y encontré,
aquel rincón que te dejé,
donde guardo los
momentos que no olvidé.
Revivo aquella noche en que
olvidamos lo demás,
el cielo se volvió rojo al sol
vimos bostezar,
se ha perdido entre la gente,
me he perdido yo también,
ya se ha ido el 28 la memoria de
un ayer.
Empecé a recordar
Y paseé
por mi mente y encontré,
aquel rincón que te dejé,
donde guardo los momentos
que no olvidé.
Si quiero saber, si tú también,
recuerdas algo de aquel café,
espero a veces sin entender,
por qué.
Y paseé
por mi mente y encontré,
aquel rincón que te dejé,
donde guardo los momentos que
no olvidé.
ISS: Well, that makes sense, but it seems to me that this might be just another regurgitation of the themes of longing and impossible love, and there's something here about nostalgia that strikes me as a little problematic, especially considering the crimes against humanity from the 20th and 21st centuries, the history of world holocausts, as well as their relationship to Latin America, and particularly its under-representation in the dominant discourses of resistance and memory.
CD: I know, right? But there's also something about the song that's very corny, and that's why we're looking at other names, and that's why lately we're starting to think about something simple, like Angry and Crazy.
ISS: That's particularly interesting, considering the criticisms against you about your being somewhat infatuated, or obsessed, or maybe fixated, on angry and insane women.
CD: Who says that?
ISS: I've heard things.
CD: Ok, listen, I'm very uncomfortable about putting my personal life in all of this, because I firmly believe that the line between art and life is very fixed. I mean, my work has nothing to do with me, not at all, otherwise this would be a huge experiment in narcissism.
ISS: Didn't you once say that all art is narcissism?
CD: That's true, I did, oh, that's very true, yes. Hm. Well. In that case, the line between art and life is very thin, it's thinner than a mirror, the one that separates us from our text messages, and those of course are where life becomes a performance.
ISS: I don't follow.
CD: It doesn't matter, you will some day. For now, it's probably important to unpack some of that. Angry and insane are things that I've always been attracted to, because that's me. That's who I am. Angry, all of our work, all of the collaborators, we're angry, angry because this is a place of enormous potential, where the multiple identities, cultural, sexual, even historical, that are both migratory in this space, and also indigenous, means that there is fertile ground for some extraordinary art, and still, it gets swept under the rugs because it makes the majority uncomfortable. Also, we're angry because we sense that there is a deep connection to the land that, if approached, not necessarily even embraced, but just approached, would mean a revolution in thought and feeling, and that experience is one that is hard to speak about in art, unless the viewer already has some sense of it, but there's so very little sense here, that well.
ISS: It's maddening.
CD: Right. And that's where anger turns to madness. I know people think we're crazy, and I hear it all the time, where I make art that is way over everyone's head, as if I'm trying to be smart on purpose, to make people feel dumb, and we use this madness to confuse people, but the truth is, people are not stupid. Not even here. They're just not stupid. And they deserve art that respects their abilities to comprehend, on deeper and more complex levels than they are usually accustomed to. I suppose that's true here as well as anywhere. So, they don't understand, and then they come up with the label crazy. I'm not crazy, at least on most days, but I can see further than most people. To repeat: I'm not crazy, I can just see very far. And sometimes I can see your soul. So most of the work is speaking to that thing that's far away, or perhaps even deep within, you know?
ISS: No, you lost me.
CD: There are people who are very confused, indecisive, stuck, because they know that deep in the marrow of their bones that this experience of living is more that is apparent, more than what's on the surface, that somewhere else, there are shadows of ourselves living out our lives on a mythic level, one that is entirely corporeal and simultaneously entirely spiritual, but the access to this shadow world seems shut, so there's a kind of, a default, to living in a state of paralysis. At our best, when the work is at its best, we move right into the shadow worlds, from this mundane starting point. So that this particular heartbreak, this particular new infatuation, or this particular new inspiration, is not allowed to live in a place of, "Oh, this is a small thing, it doesn't matter." It does matter, and if one sees it represented, then it can be allowed to catch fire, like it deserves, and move us into another realm, where the soul starts to learn how to turn itself into gold.
ISS: Mm, hm, well, it sounds like what we've seen already, can you really call it a new direction, then?
CD: We can, because now we know what the fuck we're doing, and that hasn't happened before.

(Oh, this is getting entirely more interesting than all of this, but you can't see it here, but the furtive looks and gestures speak volumes, and there is an exciting soundtrack to the conversation that prepares the blood for something very much like ecstasy, but at the same time, there is suddenly a flash of black and red, that could be hair, or it could be a spirit, but who knows, because he has decided to leave the interview and follow the rabbit, who is obviously late, and suddenly, it's almost time for the lunar eclipse, and eclipses always speak of love from 400 years ago, come back to test the water, to see if the land wants to play again for awhile...)

(end of part one)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

firma #1/series xo



"c change"
firma to open odysseus' eyes and calm calypso's mind/firma para abrir los ojos de ulysses y tranquilar el mente de calypso
from "biology is magic, nature spirits are messy, firma series three"
media: cascarilla, stone, big hands, beach, and cell phone
--from san diego, september 10, 2010

Thursday, August 19, 2010

firma #4/series 2



"one i"
firma to make the heart see after losing an i/firma para que el corazón que puede ver mientras le falta un ojo
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series two"
media: cascarilla and cell phone
--from my house, aug 19, 2010

firma #3/series 2



"ulysses heart"
firma to seat the heart back in the heart/firma para llamar al corazón de vuelta a casa
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series two"
media: cascarilla and cell phone
--from my house, aug 19, 2010

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

firma #2/series 2



"singing bird"
firma to sing the bird back to life after a war/firma para re-nacir un pajaro despues de la guerra
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series two"
media: cascarilla and cell phone
--from my house, aug 11, 2010

firma #1/series 2



"ojo del ombligo"
firma to open the eye of the belly/firma para abrir el ojo en el centro del humano
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series two"
media: cascarilla and cell phone
--from my house, aug 11, 2010

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

firma #9



"only the muertos know eternal love"
firma so our dead may always love each other, even though our hearts are still/firma para dejar k nuestr@s muert@s pueden hablar aunque nosotros no podemos estar juntos
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series one"
media: cascarilla, salt, concrete, dirt, puro, short freak thumb and forefinger from my extra large hand, and cell phone
--from the corner of my memory, aug 9, 2010

firma #8



"flighty"
firma to free the bird in the eye of the heart back to the roots/Firma para liberar el pájaros en el ojo del corazón para regresarlo a las raíces
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series one"
media: salt, cascarilla, tree, short freak thumb and forefinger from my extra large hand, and cell phone
--from a naughty tree, aug 9, 2010

Saturday, August 7, 2010

firma #7



"kongo heart"
firma to wake a lover to multiple worlds/firma de despertar a un amante a múltiples mundos
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series one"
media: cascarilla, wood, short freak thumb and forefinger from my extra large hand, and cell phone
--from a fence in front of a forgotten space, aug 4, 2010

firma #6



"maps"
firma to find the direction back to a lost lover's heart/firma para encontrar la dirección de nuevo al corazón de un amante perdido
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series one"
media: salt, earth, my extra large hand, and cell phone
--from the corner of an ex-lover's house, aug 4, 2010

firma #5




"you melt me"
firma to melt the hard butter of indifference with the heat of the heart/firma para derretir la mantequilla dura de la indiferencia con el calor del corazón
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series one"
media: non-dairy creamer, butter, my extra large hand, and cell phone
--from an empty field, aug 4, 2010

firma #4



"close mouth open heart"
firma to make a boring lover stop talking/firma para hacer un amante aburrido dejar de hablar
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series one"
media: cascarilla, concrete, short freak thumb and forefinger from my extra large hand, and cell phone
--from a downtown street corner, aug 6, 2010

Sunday, August 1, 2010

firma #3


"fire/clarity"
firma to turn loss into the birth of a queen-king/firma para transformar una pérdida en el nacimiento de un reina-rey
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series one"
media: cascarilla, concrete, short freak thumb and forefinger from my extra large hand, and cell phone
--from an abandoned house, aug 1, 2010

firma #2


"spiraling"
firma to unconfuse a sad lover/firma para de-confundir un amante triste
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series one"
media: cascarilla, concrete, short freak thumb and forefinger from my extra large hand, and cell phone
--from an abandoned house, aug 1, 2010

firma #1


"close"
firma to unforget a lover/firma para de-olvidar un amante
from "biology is magic, nature is messy, firma series one"
media: beach sand, short freak thumb from my extra large hand, and cell phone
--from the sea, aug 1, 2010

Monday, February 1, 2010

o++oii: obsession



This event, not the first of its kind, this event, not the first.

We are living in a century that no one understands yet, and lived through a decade that no one has been able to name. The pre-tens will not be remembered the way we want to be remembered by the ones we love, the ones that we secretly fear are angry and disappointed with us. Those years will be remembered that same way, or even the way we remember a relative who turned out to be a lot angrier and a lot more wrong than we once imagined...moments where there is nostalgia and happy thoughts that suddenly get turned by the overwhelming sense that this was not very good for anyone, and certainly not for us.

That's a lot to throw off the head, off the shoulders, and to excavate from the back rooms of the heart where no one is allowed in after it's dark. We need large, furious rituals to take ourselves out of ourselves. We need skilled shamans to help us to get back into ourselves at the end of everything, so we can be comfortable in our skin again. This, after the end of a long period of darkness, is an act of hope. We want to wake up to poetry, to the sound of the lover's breath playing on the ear, while the sound of children playing outside the window make the line between a dream and a life thin and fantastically fragile and gorgeous. That feeling of the rawer kinds of hunger that live in the belly and that sometimes make us think we will die from the pain of our own imaginations, the way the edge of the bone in the back of the throat starts to rub against the vocal chords when we speak words that mean something. That strange uneasy sense that none of this has ever happened before. The way a leg can shake in the dark, and no one's laughing, and no one's crying.

There is the possibility of living a life from inside the body, inside out, connected to animal thought and animal sense, and moving into the world with an open eye and an open mouth and an open heart. Our sense has always been telling us that these moments where we can connect to vision, intuition, and motion, can help to bring us to life. These moments wake up the awareness of a furious, hard knot at the center of things, and tell us that we don't have to swallow it and figure out how to pretend that it doesn't matter. Instead, this knot is a key to the point where a total stranger might be able to read your mind, and tell you the truths that you once knew through the heart.

This project, o++o: obsession, was a release of the knots in thought where we create an imaginary other for ourselves to play with in our heads, when all the adults have left for the evening. Those traces of an originary imaginary, the other who sparked the thought, get teased out in o++o: desire, where the engine has seized, and so have we, and the only way to go forward is to go through the moment when navigations have failed utterly, and we find ourselves following our hearts and going in a direction that is as real as bone and blood and as terrifying as waking up from a dream.

o++o:iii: desire
will play at the end of february, 2010
timb.org

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