end of play/7 (3)

(HE is talking to HE.  There's no real way to tell the difference between the two, and the actors should not try to help.)

(What they say.)

HE: I can't really see, I mean, I don't think, I just think, I don't know, I mean, I don't know.

HE: You don't have to know anything.

HE: But I think that I'd like to not think about her any more.  I tell myself I'm over it, and then I do things and it's fine.

HE: That's good, I think that's good.

HE: Right, I think so, too.

HE: But you still think about her.

HE: I do, I mean, not alllll the time, I mean, that's weird, I mean, it's not like that.  I'm not stalky or like, whispering her name over and over again, but she's there, she's just there, like in those skype chat photos where you take a picture of yourself with their picture while you're talking to each other, but you make it look like they're on your forehead, like, she's in my head.  She's there.  And it's not like I miss her all the time, except when I think about it, I mean, it doesn't happen when I hear her name, I mean, like, I see her name on the back of cars and trucks all the time.  But never motorcycles.  Huh, that's weird, I think that might be good, but I can't explain why.  But I mean, it's not like that, I mean, it doesn't happen when I hear her name, because she has too many names so it's easy to think that any of her names is more than just, you know, people saying names.

HE:  But what.

HE:  What?

HE: I don't know what you mean yet.

HE: Oh, it's this, I mean, it's this.  I hear not her name, but words, words like "miss."  Maybe especially "miss."  Someone says the word "miss," and I think, "Yeah, I miss her."  And people say miss all the time.

HE: So you miss her all the time.

HE: Yeah, it's always true.  So I want to be over it, that's all, I just want to be over it.

HE: But you're not, so don't be over it.  That's where you are.

(Yes, that's true.)

(And now this.  What she thinks they say.)

HE: Hahaha, pussy, hahaha.

HE: Hahaha, hot hot pussy, hahaha, pussy pussy pussy.

HE: Hahaha.

(And now a doctor's appointment.  Although it's sad that they are not having sex, in this scene it's almost better because it will not require a towel because no one spills anything.)

(She enters and he is already lying on the couch.  She is carrying a bottle of ranch dressing, and she trips on her way to him, and spills the ranch dressing all over his stomach.)

HE: Oh, no.

SHE: Hahaha, see how you like it.

(A racially ambiguous stagehand enters and cleans it up with a towel.)

HE: That sure takes me back.

SHE: Tell me about your brother.

HE: Well, it all started when I was born and he was already there.  And it was always like that.  He would have been always already there, and he would show me what to do when I got there myself.

SHE: Like climbing mountains.

HE: Yes, except it was more about smoking pot and drinking beer and then moving to the harder stuff.

SHE: When did you move to the harder stuff?

HE: The third time I got drunk, because I got this football player back together with his girlfriend and he bought me a bottle of Jack Daniels to thank me.

SHE: Oh.

HE: But remember, I'm not a hillbilly.  I only did that for about three years, and then I discovered Kessler's, and if I still drank, that's what I would drink.

SHE: I didn't know you were such a cowboy, I had no idea.

HE: There's more to me than anyone knows.

SHE: That's obvious, and that's why I took you on as someone to fall in love with, impossibly, and for a very long time.  I mean, took you on as a patient.  And what happened to your brother?

HE: It's kind of hard to talk about because it chokes me up, and there's a sense that if I ever got over that, then I would get over everything else, but I don't get over it, because I keep expecting him to come to and not be so very sad all the time.

SHE: It runs in your family, doesn't it, this sadness?

HE:  It's everywhere, I lost a lot of relatives to it, and everyone seems to have it, and everyone around me seems to have it, and I'm sad, but not like that.

SHE: Are you sure?

HE: Pretty sure.  I mean, I tried.  I tried a lot.  I still try.  I get up on some mornings, and I decide that I'm going to be sad all day.  But I make a big mistake.

SHE: What's your mistake?

HE: I get dressed.  And I know that's a big deal, that it won't work if I get dressed when I get up, but I still get dressed.

SHE: There's plenty of things to be sad about in the world, though, you can still stay sad.

HE: I try.  But then these other things happen.  I hear voices and see ghosts, and they tell me that this life is sacred, and they show me things, and there are birds, from lots of different realms, and spirit dogs, and there are people with interesting things to say, who are doing interesting things.  And then I meet people like you.  Or people like you.  Or maybe I should just say you.  I met you, and when I wake up, I know that you're in the world, and I think it might be possible that you might be able to love me one day, and then I am not sad any more.

(Long pause.  End of play.)


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