They're in a bar, a love bar, it's the bar, the bar, the bar where they love, they talk about love in the bar of love.
One
BARNEY: Check it, three twins last night. High five. There were five and then there was me.
ROBIN: Six.
BARNEY: I beg your pardon, hottie?
(Laughs)
ROBIN: There were six, if there were three twins, there were six.
BARNEY: Yeah, but one got away.
(Laughs)
TED: There's always one that gets away.
MARSHALL: Don't go there, Ted. Getting all scheezie-meezie.
LILY: Schweezie-meezie!
(M&L make out on the table, lots and lots of tongue, it's so funny that they break character.)
MARSHALL: Can we take that again?
DIRECTOR: (He slaps his head, this is outrageous) Cut!
Two
TED: There's always one that gets away.
MARSHALL: Don't go there, Ted. Getting all scheezie-meezie.
LILY: Schweezie-meezie!
(M&L make out on the table, lots and lots of tongue)
ROBIN (sings, like a bird): Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.
(They all join in the song, like birds.)
Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.
(This turns into a very elaborate dance number, one that O will have to choreograph, and the dance number is bright and glittery, but just for a moment. Then, in mid-song):
TED: Every time I love, and lose, a part of me dies.
(Laughs)
TED: It's not funny.
(Laughs)
TED: It's just not very goddam funny at all.
(He gets so gloomy that they have to cut.)
DIRECTOR: Cut.
(The DIRECTOR is crying, because this is his story.)
Three
Dance number:
They Sing:
Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.
(This starts off all glitzy but then becomes a very slow dance of death.)
(In the end, no one is laughing because death is coming to claim them all.)
One
BARNEY: Check it, three twins last night. High five. There were five and then there was me.
ROBIN: Six.
BARNEY: I beg your pardon, hottie?
(Laughs)
ROBIN: There were six, if there were three twins, there were six.
BARNEY: Yeah, but one got away.
(Laughs)
TED: There's always one that gets away.
MARSHALL: Don't go there, Ted. Getting all scheezie-meezie.
LILY: Schweezie-meezie!
(M&L make out on the table, lots and lots of tongue, it's so funny that they break character.)
MARSHALL: Can we take that again?
DIRECTOR: (He slaps his head, this is outrageous) Cut!
Two
TED: There's always one that gets away.
MARSHALL: Don't go there, Ted. Getting all scheezie-meezie.
LILY: Schweezie-meezie!
(M&L make out on the table, lots and lots of tongue)
ROBIN (sings, like a bird): Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.
(They all join in the song, like birds.)
Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.
(This turns into a very elaborate dance number, one that O will have to choreograph, and the dance number is bright and glittery, but just for a moment. Then, in mid-song):
TED: Every time I love, and lose, a part of me dies.
(Laughs)
TED: It's not funny.
(Laughs)
TED: It's just not very goddam funny at all.
(He gets so gloomy that they have to cut.)
DIRECTOR: Cut.
(The DIRECTOR is crying, because this is his story.)
Three
Dance number:
They Sing:
Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.Schweezie, and meezie, a-schweezie and a-meezie.
(This starts off all glitzy but then becomes a very slow dance of death.)
(In the end, no one is laughing because death is coming to claim them all.)
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