seamonsters/gum

SIREN/SHE: Oh my gosh I love this gum.

HE: Oh my gosh what kind of gum is it.

S: I don't know, I'm not into labels.

H: Yeah, but I might want to buy it.  I mean, if you like it that much.

S: I fucking love it, it's so fucking awesome, it's the best motherfucking gum I've ever chewed, do you want some?

H: Oh my gosh, I do, I really do.

S: I'll give you your own piece, hahaha, not one that I've already, hahaha, chewed myself.

H: Hahaha, I don't care, I mean, I'd like the gum that's been in your mouth, I mean....hahaha, give me a clean piece please.

S: Clean.  Like I'm dirty.  Hahaha.

H: Hahaha.

(They both chew.  Pause.)

(SHE looks at HE.)

H: Oh my gosh it's fucking awesome.

S: Yes, you get it, I'm so glad you get it, it's awesome motherfucking gum.

H: I know gum and this is awesome fucking gum.

S: You know what I like about it the most?  It doesn't/ break--

H: It doesn't break when you play with it with your tongue.

(Long pause.)

S: Oh my gosh, yes.

H: You can wrap your tongue around it and kind of flick at it.

S: I love that.

H: You can flick at it with the end of your tongue and it's still so goddam rubbery and it feels so fucking good on your teeth and your tongue and you can keep on flicking at it--

S: Not too fast, I mean, vary the speeds, I mean, especially for the first like 8 minutes or so.

H: 8 minutes?  I could flick it for 16 or 32 or 64.

S: 64?  That's too long, that's just fucking ridiculous.

H: Not that I would flick the gum with the tip of my tongue for 64 minutes, but I fucking well could.  I have patience.  And my tongue is like, what's the word, it's in shape, right?  Like a muscle?

S: Yeah, it's a muscle, fucking right it's a goddam motherfucking muscle.  Yes.

H: I know my way around gum, I'm not new to anything.  I'm not new at all, but not like, what's the word, old, I'm not old to it, either.

S: Seasoned.  You're seasoned.

H: No, that's like saying old.

S: Seasoned is like spiced.  You're spiced.

H: Yeah.  That's ok.  Spiced.  And you're spicy too.

S: You don't have to lie to me to get me to like you, I mean, take it easy, I mean, slow down all of a sudden.

H: I'm sorry, I just stopped listening for a second and realized I had to say something so I just said something about the last thing you said but I wasn't really listening.

S: Oh my gosh, I fucking do that, too! That's so awesome.

H: It's fucking awesome.

S: It is.  Yes.

H: Oh my gosh.


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