cgs/y todo lo demas/breath before the sea

there's no way this would be kept very secret for very long, and i tried to hide it from you, and hide it from the rest of the world, i found a rock next to a cave that held equal parts blue and equal parts green, and i buried it under that, but it was too big, once it started to grow, and once it started to grow it began to look like the idiot serpent, the one who let itself be tamed, the one that lived somewhere between the forest and the ocean, and no one knew how much it would grow until children began to disappear and then we knew that this was a different kind of game altogether.

after three days, or maybe it was three weeks, it's hard to tell the time when time has decided not to matter (note: for the living, it's the only river, the one that moves the blood through the veins, and it is inside and outside of everything; for the rest of us, it's the river that's above the ground, you have no idea how complicated it becomes when you break through the surface, and you might even wonder if there are rivers in the sky, of course there are not, otherwise it would be raining blood all the time ((note to self: it does rain blood all the time.  they don't need to know that, though)) ), after three of something, when it was obvious that the secret was not going to be kept for long if it was known to you at all, your tongue being made of a cross between palm oil and lightning, sharp but so very easy to unleash, it was decided that there would be a series of three lessons, simple to say but impossible to learn, and they would be given to you thus:

1. the fight between you and your ego is the most important fight you will ever lose (and you better lose)
2. the animal buried deep beneath the skin, not buried so deep at all.
3. the breath connects everything.

and from here you would be free to decide if the lessons were about this one or about that one, about the first thing or the last thing, and we hoped, we hid in the edges of your sight just as you suspected, and we hoped that you would get it confused, and think you were being given messages about something that no one could care less about, and you might think it was the most important thing in the world, because it only happens that the things that the sea can give you are things that will be given when your back is turned, the seventh wave come back to drown you after you'd thought it retreated for the rest of the afternoon--that very moment when your eyes unsharpen for a long sleep--so that you'd remember it like you remembered that day when you fell in love as if that were the secret itself (and there's nothing to prove it's not).

the living respond with a cipher:

august 5th only comes around once a year, the last one was not so very painful, and only because it was organized pain, and perhaps that's why our noses are so entirely connected to pasts we can't imagine as having been anything but painful.  but clearly, the spirits who brought me here have to understand by now, if i say i love her and loved her and will always love her, it doesn't mean it's exclusive, or that i'm trapped, but just that i think this is going to go on for a long doesn't mean that i'm trapped or lost or locked, but only that i recognize her, but you know that i recognize others, the souls of these folk are polyamorous, nature is polyamorous, and i am not only among them, but of them, and happy to be here, thank you, i assure you, and i adore you, and the only thing left to say, at the end of every day, is i miss you.  


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