(scene: a birthday party that doesn't look like a birthday party.)
lauren bacall (lb): i want body suits of the universe. oh wow is this, is this, is this how the birthday play starts?
humphrey bogart (hb): (he says this knowingly) why yes, why yes i think it is.
lb: oh but how does it end?
hb: i don't know how do i know what do i look like someone who knows how plays end?
lb: if you don't know, then that means this is limitless and this is endless and that this is like a light blue sky that turns dark blue and there are two moons, please please please there are two moons, on a night like this.
hb (lighting an unfiltered cigarette): sweetheart.
lb: oh, don't smoke, not for this, it's been almost a week.
hb: oh, i'm just holding it.
lb: oh, but you lit it. let me hold it for you so you don't get all smoking again.
(she holds it and smokes it for him)
hb: i knew right away this was going to be the start of something about which i would be enthusiastic. (breaks character) can we hold please? (we hold) is this translated?
(someone we've never seen before suddenly comes onto the stage, this someone has a very heavy beard and very heavy glasses and a very heavy sweater, and for all this heaviness, the someone is remarkably thin and light, not heavy at all, and that is a very interesting contradiction. we are all so complex.)
someone: it is translated, yes, is there a problem?
hb: i knew right away this was going to be the start of something about which i would be enthusiastic.
someone: yes.
hb: i don't like it.
someone: why not?
hb: it's missing something. something poetic.
someone: it's perfect.
hb: can i suggest something?
someone: oh hell no don't mess with my words.
hb: i'm thinking something that ends with the words 'beautiful friendship.'
someone: oh hell no this sucks you suck oh hell no.
lb: everyone, not just you, but everyone in the world, stop fighting.
(long pause, this was passionate and suddenly it hits home.)
hb: and suddenly it hit home that we could stop fighting and peace is possible but it's up to us, to you, and me.
(and they all sing. i don't have the music, and the words, i don't have all the words, but some of them are here:)
peace in our time,
because why not is why,
it's possible,
it's possible,
peace in our time,
uh huh why not don't you stand in our way
don't stand in the way
of peace
of peace
of peace
in our time.
(the song should take 8 minutes at least and it needs some verses, too, the above is just a chorus, but the verses should be a story about the main character, lb, and how she used to be so sad all the time and then she met people who shared her love for slick heels and then it all went from shades of gray to hd color, like a squid seeing color with its magic squid eyes, and that's when everyone's rent went down at the same time and we all lived in a city that loved us because we were artists, and oh, that city wasn't even berlin)
(the second scene in the play happens in the dark, and it takes place on the roof, and only one person can see it at a time. everyone loves it, and they're all sworn into secrecy about what happens, so they can't talk about it during the performance because it would give everything away. they all talk about how mystical it is, and how this performance has so much ritual, and it's like returning to theatre's ritual forms, but really, between us here, all they do is play light as a feather, that's all. but it's pretty neat).
(the third and final scene is where he, hb, either humphrey bogart or happy birthday, comes in and lists all the things he likes about her.)
hb: curves edges perfect imperfections,
the blue light that you leave behind on that tao book when it was on my nightstand,
how your shoes and sandals are inhabited when you are not wearing them,
all your traces,
all the traces you leave,
how many traces you have left,
the traces you are leaving right now,
thinking about all the traces not yet left,
how traces are already there before they happen,
and how i knew when i saw you the first time that you came from the sea,
and the second time,
how you ordered salt water,
and how we crossed deserts and been to forests and have been to the sea even,
and there's still so much more to sea,
and that there are only a few elements but there's nothing simple about them,
and nothing about anything at all that isn't endless,
and that you remind me,
that we are born of love into love,
that we are swimming in love,
that we are born swimming,
that we are born knowing how to swim,
we never forgot,
you reminded me,
and you remind me,
that we never forgot,
and so,
so,
so,
so,
happy birthday,
happy happy birthday,
happy happy happy birthday,
happy happy birthday.
(fin)
lauren bacall (lb): i want body suits of the universe. oh wow is this, is this, is this how the birthday play starts?
humphrey bogart (hb): (he says this knowingly) why yes, why yes i think it is.
lb: oh but how does it end?
hb: i don't know how do i know what do i look like someone who knows how plays end?
lb: if you don't know, then that means this is limitless and this is endless and that this is like a light blue sky that turns dark blue and there are two moons, please please please there are two moons, on a night like this.
hb (lighting an unfiltered cigarette): sweetheart.
lb: oh, don't smoke, not for this, it's been almost a week.
hb: oh, i'm just holding it.
lb: oh, but you lit it. let me hold it for you so you don't get all smoking again.
(she holds it and smokes it for him)
hb: i knew right away this was going to be the start of something about which i would be enthusiastic. (breaks character) can we hold please? (we hold) is this translated?
(someone we've never seen before suddenly comes onto the stage, this someone has a very heavy beard and very heavy glasses and a very heavy sweater, and for all this heaviness, the someone is remarkably thin and light, not heavy at all, and that is a very interesting contradiction. we are all so complex.)
someone: it is translated, yes, is there a problem?
hb: i knew right away this was going to be the start of something about which i would be enthusiastic.
someone: yes.
hb: i don't like it.
someone: why not?
hb: it's missing something. something poetic.
someone: it's perfect.
hb: can i suggest something?
someone: oh hell no don't mess with my words.
hb: i'm thinking something that ends with the words 'beautiful friendship.'
someone: oh hell no this sucks you suck oh hell no.
lb: everyone, not just you, but everyone in the world, stop fighting.
(long pause, this was passionate and suddenly it hits home.)
hb: and suddenly it hit home that we could stop fighting and peace is possible but it's up to us, to you, and me.
(and they all sing. i don't have the music, and the words, i don't have all the words, but some of them are here:)
peace in our time,
because why not is why,
it's possible,
it's possible,
peace in our time,
uh huh why not don't you stand in our way
don't stand in the way
of peace
of peace
of peace
in our time.
(the song should take 8 minutes at least and it needs some verses, too, the above is just a chorus, but the verses should be a story about the main character, lb, and how she used to be so sad all the time and then she met people who shared her love for slick heels and then it all went from shades of gray to hd color, like a squid seeing color with its magic squid eyes, and that's when everyone's rent went down at the same time and we all lived in a city that loved us because we were artists, and oh, that city wasn't even berlin)
(the second scene in the play happens in the dark, and it takes place on the roof, and only one person can see it at a time. everyone loves it, and they're all sworn into secrecy about what happens, so they can't talk about it during the performance because it would give everything away. they all talk about how mystical it is, and how this performance has so much ritual, and it's like returning to theatre's ritual forms, but really, between us here, all they do is play light as a feather, that's all. but it's pretty neat).
(the third and final scene is where he, hb, either humphrey bogart or happy birthday, comes in and lists all the things he likes about her.)
hb: curves edges perfect imperfections,
the blue light that you leave behind on that tao book when it was on my nightstand,
how your shoes and sandals are inhabited when you are not wearing them,
all your traces,
all the traces you leave,
how many traces you have left,
the traces you are leaving right now,
thinking about all the traces not yet left,
how traces are already there before they happen,
and how i knew when i saw you the first time that you came from the sea,
and the second time,
how you ordered salt water,
and how we crossed deserts and been to forests and have been to the sea even,
and there's still so much more to sea,
and that there are only a few elements but there's nothing simple about them,
and nothing about anything at all that isn't endless,
and that you remind me,
that we are born of love into love,
that we are swimming in love,
that we are born swimming,
that we are born knowing how to swim,
we never forgot,
you reminded me,
and you remind me,
that we never forgot,
and so,
so,
so,
so,
happy birthday,
happy happy birthday,
happy happy happy birthday,
happy happy birthday.
(fin)
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