Tuesday, November 10, 2009

lux, fascism, luxembourgian german is more like french

FARSICKNESS
The macchiato here is a masterpiece.
Ok, I don't understand why I am dreaming about nazis all the time, but here's another one...woke up this morning, almost cried, hugged the dog who licked my head.
That wasn't the dream though this was:
In a sort of hotel at the edge of the world, a usual hotel, one in other dreams, with cliffs or fields or something at the edges that turns into the end of the city...so Hitler is coming, and everyone knows, so we're all making last-minute preparations. Everyone is aware of what this means, so it's all very clearly thought. Old people and the extremely young will be taken out first, so they are put away in rooms with a lot of beds and closets, so the old people don't have to struggle much, and the babies don't have to watch.
While these plans are being made, I am also trying to figure out the final schedule for the teato caliente festival, it's supposed to happen in a ditch this year, just outside the hotel,
and while I'm getting ready for that, I'm talking to my ex, her grandmothers have been moved to where they won't have to struggle so much when they're killed (they're both already dead, there's a lot of dead people in this dream, I did get to see them), and we're talking about the festival, and what to do with Elli. It's sort of a nice conversation, and I can tell she'll be all right, even though we may not see each other again for a long time...but before the festival starts, just outside the window, in a ditch, Hitler's showing up early, and I see him in a car with Eva Braun, coming down the street. The car starts to turn into an arrow, but then they turn around and decide to enter around the back.
This all means that it's over, and the genocide's about to start again, and no festival or so fucking what festival, I have Elli and we have to get her somewhere safe.
We're climbing up and up, she said good bye to her ma, and we're going up, and at an attic, inside the attic (it's a brightly lit attic, lots of sun coming through) there are rows of beds hanging in the air, they go up at least 13 rows; this is like Anne Frank & the doors in Monster's Inc.
It's me, Elli, & my brother, who is dressed as a woman, with red lipstick.
We see these beds, and this is a good spot, they won't find us here.
I want Elli on one with me, so I can hold her, and keep her quiet when they come looking, but my brother explains that they can't fit two, only one per mattress, or we would fall to our deaths, but at least this way we will be safe, because these are the beds from our childhood, he explains.
He is telling me his friend is supposed to be bringing his favorite snack, but he's realizing that she would have to come in the next minute, because we are about to seal the attic where we will wait for at least a day and a half, or maybe 15 years, for it to be safe again. He is looking helpless in his lipstick, which does not smear, while he is realizing he will not get his snack, and he is trying not to cry.

(why am i dreaming about nazis? and what the fuck is this saying about art? i am reading about representation, and unrepresentable blabla, Lancier's The Future of the Image, lots of nazis in that, but who are they in this dream world? i used to think they were culture nazis here, the supremacists that keep things mediocre, but this is something much larger than that even, and i'm very angry about all of this...also, yesterday i find myself thinking about the Gaels on me mum's side, and the ones who are from Luxembourg, and wondering what they heard when they were talking to trees, because they certainly did talk to trees, and the trees talked back)...

No comments:

MANIFESTO OF CROSSED ONTOLOGIES Everybody (and by everybody I don ’ t mean everybody I think I mean one person, and I mean you, in par...