shrink please

working on o++o: cities of the dead, showing it in a week, at the festival (also working on that),
last night plagued by restless leg would not stop dancing in my sleep, i did not sleep, moved around the house to rooms where i could hear mice moving quarters around behind the walls (there are mice there, i'm not making that up, not sure what they were moving around though, or what they might be building???); anyway, i yell at the cat to get the goddam mouse and do her job it's what i pay her for, and the dog she barks the dog she barks at everything but the motherfucking mouse, i yell, i wake up elli yelling but she goes back to sleep it's all ok.
i sleep next to her and the dog, and have this dream in the short time sleeping:
i am supposed to be fighting, a boxing match, fighting someone the nazis have picked, it's going to be brutal, and worse, it's almost evenly matched, so every effort i put in will be matched and if i don't put effort in it will be matched with enough beating to get me to fight again, it's a bad situation to be in for someone who does not box, but apparently it's ok, because the nazis are going to make me box and then i am supposed to be cut up into pieces and eaten,
i am in a room like a metro station, and at the foot of a stairway i am saying goodbye to elli, and i don't think she understands, and i tell her i love her and miss her and she says i will miss you too and i look in her eye and see she understands and then i wake up.
maybe this is the last festival?
will take next year off or be somewhere else?
but who are the nazis here, in this dream?
these are the days of the dead, the beginning wave,
i miss you, berlin, and i miss you too more than you will ever know,
xo
c

Comments

Popular Posts