Thumbtock

There are three things to discuss:

thumb

santeria/ this yaworaje

the third is just a matter of discretion but it's the only thing on my mind (well the other two also...but the third, oh the third...)

there needs to be a way to make hyperlinks for all of these (i know the way is called hyperlink, but that's not quite it...)

so i will just talk about all of them in one single breath--

i have been a Yawo for 11 months 2 weeks and 1 day now, and am looking forward to the anniversary of my crowning (jan. 5th) and the week after that where everything goes back to normal (jan 12 only not so normal, as if it were ever so ever so as if it were ever so...). i have less thumb, less money (in graduate school, not teaching as much, and after next semester not at all, so, ha...interesting to see how this will turn out...new adventures in the wings...), a lot of work, a lot of new work, a lot of strange experience, and more strange experience, and suddenly, strange experience...

I want to talk about the thumb.

Here's why they say you should not divine for someone you are attracted to: she was looking at the cards and I saw the two of hearts, and two choices for her: the world, or the fool, and I thought the cards said she should pursue the new relationship that was forming in front of her (which was us) and the world would come to her, or she was a fucking idiot and would fall of the edge of the world. I don't remember what I told her, not that, not what I thought, which turned out to be true in all respects, in every respect, um, but this is why...

***tho not exactly true because later in another part of the world i read for someone i thought was kinda hot, and it turned out to be right, and there was nothing like the choice between being in love or being an idiot, not for her, but oh this got confusing and I shouldn't talk about this here...

I am discrete

there's a lot more to this but right now i have to play a board game with bored Elli...i have no sustained concentration this year...

but I love that child, so what can I do?

I will post pictures of my thumb soon, but not of my face, not until next month...only the beloved ones get images and that's not here, and not her, the her that is beloved is one and she is there so very much there, and so much not here...

Um, new font for a new president. While I was self-absorbed, there was an event, an event that happened, events happening all the time, that's what events do, but this one, this event.

Was not about the thumb, and for now, here's how things worked out with the thumb>>>

On May 6th, 2007, one week after my head was marked for Obatala (I have a feeling not everyone will know what that means-- THIS IS THE SPACE WHICH I WILL FILL IN ), I was wondering about some things that were up for discretion and not discussion and wondering wondering, and although I had been marked, and with the idea that I am of that part of the clan where we need to pay more attention because we are prone to accidents, I was witness to an act whereupon a chain of a running motorcycle, being cleaned by the party of the first part (I or me), not turning it off before cleaning it but rather running it intentionally and running the chain through my thumb and index finger of the left hand, with a sock on said hand, sawed the thumb get caught up in things (as I tend to do) and went far far away from the end of my hand and to parts unknown. The two guys who lived in my apartment complex (both named John, as I recall), told me later they found the tip of this thumb but in too many diverse geographical locations to be something worth collecting, which means in Mayan cosmology I would have this as a sick part of my soul needing to be collected on the hour of my death (and I am not Mayan, but then again this is probably radically inaccurate). And so, this is how I came to lose that part.

And it took a long time to heal, and in fact took so long that the surgeon sent me to a pain doctor, who prescribed mild painkillers until it was decided (by him) that I was no longer in pain. It was less, for sure, but not gone. This would have been March or April of this year. So, well into my Yaworaje. And in March or was it April (section deleted for continuity)...and yes for the rest of my life, but who knows why things happen the way they do, and especially why twice (except for the blood).

And then in October it would be, October 8th from my medical records, I was learning how to pluck with my left hand, and suddenly felt the pain return like it had before, like it had from May-March approximately, won't you come see me queen jane)...and I saw my doctor, who told me it was nerve pain, and it continued to hurt but only exactly like before only much much worse, and I saw her again, and she was actually angry that I was bothering her, and said, we've already talked about this, what's the problem, and I said, it's pain it's continuing pain what the hell do you want me to say it's pain, give me darvocet,

And she did and she thought it a good idea to go back to the surgeon, and she was still angry at me, for reasons i do not understand, but think perhaps switching doctors is not unreasonable, or moving to Europe where there is medical care, um...

This is longer than I intended, and impossible to complete, but this is the start of something longer, I guess.

The short version now is: shorter thumb, the surgeon amputated more bone, and it's skinnier at the tip, and I think a little more elegant, a little more sleek, and the new pain doctor, when I asked her about the results of the addiction screening where I spoke with a psychologist who looked like a cross between John Cage and George Bush (the younger, the shoeheaded dethroned fucktack), asked me , why, are you concerned? are you doing anything weird? you're not poppin 8 of em at a time are ya? Which i take as a clean bill of mental health, at least as far as wondering if I were in fact creating this pain in my mind. Glad to know I am not. But tonight, tonight, tonight I really wanted to talk about something else, but this will have to live under my tongue, it's double-tongued, and watches, and I think this would be lovely already if it were not so lovely, and this is the truest part of this part which is one part of a longer part, but the longer part also has her written in its sleeve and that's also true...

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